There, There Katie
by Wingsss
Summary: Inspired by Jack's Mannequin song "There, There Katie." A tribute to Kate Beckett, how events might unfold post-3x24, "Knockout." One shot, Caskett.


**Title:** There, There Katie  
><strong>Author:<strong> Wingsss  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T (violence and language)  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> Spoilers through "Knockout."  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Inspired by Jack's Mannequin song "There, There Katie." A tribute to Kate Beckett, how events might unfold post-3x24, "Knockout."One shot, complete.  
><strong>AN:** I actually started this before the finale aired because the song begs for it… but I was completely shocked by how (unfortunately) right I was. Edited and added to after the finale aired, so don't read if you haven't seen it yet.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I don't own Castle, and make no profit from this creation.

"_Katie, you're a brave girl  
><em>_Courage is something I'll need now,  
><em>_Because it's been a hell of a day  
><em>_I've spent fading away,  
><em>_But we all fade sometimes."_

People keep telling her that she's too far in to see herself unraveling. But Kate Beckett feels like she's got tunnel vision, staring down the end at her own demise. She's yelled at the captain, at her boys. Rick is begging her to stop, actually begging—and though she fires back with the bite he's expecting, her hands are shaking and her eyes sting as she tells him that they are over. If you listen closely, you can hear the shattering of her heart.

Later, she finds him doing what he does best—showing up unannounced, and saving her life. He's there to force her to _choose life_ this time, and he's there to hold her, to keep her safe. It kills her not to get a chance to end this with Lockwood herself—but she trusts her Captain will do right by her now.

_(She's drifting in and out of wakefulness the next time she has a chance to wonder: will this ever really end?)_

* * *

><p>Rick sees the shine off the sniper rifle's muzzle for a split second before he hears the shot—he's in front of Kate in a flash but of course he's too late. They're always too late; a series of missed moments. Once again, like a door closed, a Hamptons invitation rescinded, he has missed his chance to be what she needed.<p>

_ Sirens. _Someone is at his shoulder, trying to get him stand up. He doesn't remember sinking to his knees but he feels the damp grass through his suit pants. The girl at his shoulder can't be more than 25, but somehow thinks she's qualified to tell Castle that _Detective Beckett lost a lot of blood but they're going to get her to the hospital as fast as they can._

* * *

><p><em>Her eyes slip closed, and she's fighting the heat radiating from her bottom right ribs. It spreads, hot and sticky, through her whole body until her breathing shallows. <em>

_ Her head is still working a mile a minute—and she's beating herself up. Through the emotional haze of Montgomery's last moments and the threat approaching, she misses her last opportunity to get the answers she desperately needs. _

_ She fights, because she can't die without knowing:  
><em>_Who ordered the hit on my mother?  
><em>_Does Castle know that I love him, too?_

* * *

><p>The waiting room is packed—Jim Beckett, the boys, Lanie, Martha and Alexis, half the precinct, plus Josh, who is sitting as far across the small room as he can from Castle and is steadfastly trying to ignore how fucking wrecked Castle looks in comparison to himself.<p>

It's hours before they have news and everyone breathes a big sigh of relief when it's good—she's out of surgery, has a few broken ribs and a stitched up hole in her side but the bullet didn't do too much damage to any internal organs—all in all, the best case. But she's not awake yet, and the only people they'll let back to see her are Josh and Jim. Castle watches from his seat as the most awkward boyfriend introduction ever ensues:

_"Mr. Beckett, I'm—I'm Josh." He extends his hand.  
>Jim looks at it for a moment, and under the stress lines and tears Rick swears it takes him a minute to remember who "Josh" is supposed to be. Finally, he takes the offered hand, maybe a little too coldly.<br>__"Oh," Jim starts. "It's nice… nice to…" but doesn't finish the thought.  
><em>But Rick can't even find humor in that right now.

It's almost two hours before they get any more news. Josh finally emerges. He doesn't look happy, or even sad, really. He looks defeated. He walks through the room briefly, and out another door. Back to work? Rick hopes not; he wouldn't want this guy cutting into him just now.

It's Jim who comes back and gives them a much-needed recap:  
><em>"Katie's not really up yet… But I tried talking to her and I think she can hear me. I couldn't make sense of what she was saying. It sounded like '<em>always_,' but—"  
><em>Rick is actually sobbing now; there's no more pretending. Alexis holds his hand and Martha holds hers. For the first time since he can remember, he prays.

* * *

><p><em>Kate's dreams come to her in the form of a murder board—everything around her is absorbed by brightness, and the expanse before her is clean white-board, a timeline at the bottom. It starts with "Flowers for your Grave" and ends with crosshairs, the silent whizz of a sniper's bullet. <em>

_ She's putting pictures up, drawing things in. Scribbling questions, thinking out loud. She works in this dream for an immeasurable amount of time before she realizes it's not a murder she's solving—but the mystery of her feelings for Rick._

* * *

><p>He falls asleep after he sends his mother and Alexis home. They ask him to come back with them but don't fight him when he says no. His eyes are spent from crying and his head is pounding, so when exhaustion takes him, he doesn't fight.<p>

But it doesn't end up being as restful as he hoped:  
><em>A white glove, splattered with blood.<br>__A kidnapped child, the weight of the world on his shoulders as he goes to make the ransom drop.  
><em>_Her apartment—the explosion, the heat, the terror.  
><em>_Tied up in a hotel room, thinking he was never going to see his family again, see _her_ again.  
><em>_Freezing cold, crystalizing in his bones.  
><em>_Her face: the first day they met. When he told her he reopened her mother's case. When she had Coonan's blood on her hands. When she realized the bomb wasn't going to go off. Pulled back after he kissed her—then leaning in for more.  
><em>_Dead. Pale, frozen, covered in blood._

He wakes with a start, Jim's hand on his shoulder.  
>"This is killing you, isn't it?"<br>Rick nods. He's afraid to even blink now; the last image he saw before he woke is burned into his retinas.  
>"Come on, I'll take you to her."<p>

Rick follows blindly, past the nurses' station guarding the doors that lead to the patient rooms. She's hooked up to a million different machines, but Jim said they took the tube out of her throat right after surgery because she was fine breathing on her own—apparently, a good sign. But Rick's _Kate Beckett_ was invincible. This was _Katie_, and she almost died today.

He and Jim hold vigil there, and as the sun rises Jim steps out for a cup of coffee. Neither slept much. Castle takes the opportunity to grab her hand off the sheet, and whispers in her ear.

"I meant every word, Kate," he says, drawing lazy circles on the back of her hand with thumb as he holds it. "I know there are things to consider…" he trails off, this train of thought is dangerous—"but you know where I stand. And I think, I hope—" but he gets cut off by Jim's return. He feels fifteen for getting caught holding Kate's hand, but if Jim cares he certainly doesn't say anything.

* * *

><p>The waiting takes another 24 hours, but when Kate wakes up Rick is the first thing she sees. He's passed out in a chair by her bedside, and he's still got her hand in his. It takes effort, but she smiles. Her throat is sore, she feels stiff all over and there's a pretty constant ache—more of a debilitating, intense pain—radiating from her right side. Everything around her is bright or very white. Except for Castle. He has always been her color, but he's still here in a rumpled black suit looking more than a little exhausted. Worry lines crease his face, and there's a spot of blood—her blood—on his shirt.<p>

It takes a lot of concentration to squeeze his hand, but when she does, his eyes flutter open. They hold her gaze with the most meaningful look she's ever seen; it thrills and terrifies her.

"You're awake," he comments nervously, and drops her hand. He doesn't know what to do, so in true Castle fashion he starts talking. "Do you want me to go get your dad? Josh—" She cuts him off.  
>"No, Rick. Just stay," her voice is raspy, strained.<br>"God, Kate—I'm so sorry. I saw him, and I should gotten to you sooner…"  
>"Did they get him?"<br>"No, he's in the wind. Kate, promise me you won't go looking for him. Please,"  
>"You know I can't do that, Rick," she pauses, fiddling with her bed sheet. "The best I can do is make sure I have you there to back me up," she offers with a smile.<br>He looks incredibly pained. "I thought I lost you, Kate." It's a whisper, but she hears his words. And the subtext.  
>"But you didn't," she offers. "I want to be here. <em>Always<em>."  
>The weight of her words causes his heart to race; he can hear it beating in his ears.<br>"Kate, don't just say that—"  
>"I'm not, Rick. And I remember what you said," she starts, and Rick stiffens. The consequences of his admission are staring him in the face—he's worried that this, more than anything else, could lead to the end of <em>them.<em> But she's not angry, and she's not changing the subject, she's not pretending like it never happened. He feels… _hopeful._

The rest, they say with their eyes. Jim comes back in, coffee in hand and a big smile on his face. The rest of the day is spent in a flutter of visitors—the sadness of yesterday's funeral tempered with the joy of knowing that at least for today, she is safe.

Tomorrow, they have a killer to catch. Together.

"_I believe  
><em>_That Katie it's a strange world  
><em>_As I watch our tables get turned round  
><em>_But you've got the strength that I've lost  
><em>_Who'd of thought you would be carrying me.  
><em>_Katie, you're a brave girl  
><em>_And I know it's only just started. "_


End file.
